The last few days

The last few days of his work life was still what a man could do. Pushing himself to his limits.

My dad was retiring from his work. It occurred to me for the last few years left, that how it would be to have him in the home, nothing to do, and he will be ill-at-ease. Well, but he would surely think himself weak, not able to find much things to prove himself. I was contemplating how the man can be okay by saying "it's okay".

But it was not the last few days until it suddenly occurred to me what retirement can mean to him. Being a down-to-earth person all this life and trying to put everything right, this might be the retirement of a great man who loved his work, the work he fought all his life to learn, the work he always wanted to do, the work he got bored off and didn't like to do anymore, yet the work he was still pushing to do and doing even when his health didn't satisfy. I know my dad isn't okay. But he always says so. I know he is trying every minute of his time left to be okay about things which wasn't.

I know he is still taking up challenges and trying to be strong about things just to protect us. From everything. I know he is still guarding us.

I have never seen more a man than he is. He specialised in many types of works when he was young, yet he chose to pursue something that put himself out of the rest. Working his way out every second, trying, trying and trying... He is so strong.

He is physically weak now. Yet to me he couldn't have been stronger mentally, more than he ever was. He never got much appreciated for what he did or tried to do.

If I could I would give him everything I had. I love him, my dad, eternally.